Overcoming the Negativity Bias

By Jamie Bussin and Tracey Soghrati

I am by nature a “glass half empty” type of person. That’s not to say that I don’t experience optimism. But my positive feelings which emerge early always seem to get snuffed out by reality. As many regular Tonic readers know, I had a very serious health scare and came very close to dying, but for emergency surgery. 

I came out of that experience with new perspectives and practices. The most important of which is that I always make sure to tell people what they mean to me. Which I suppose is a manifestation of gratitude. 

Regular contributor, Tracey Soghrati is a psychotherapist, yogi and mindfulness expert. We spoke about the nature of gratitude on Episode #88 of The Tonic Talk Show/Podcast. This is a digest of that conversation. 

According to Tracey, gratitude is a feeling of being thankful and allowing for a readiness in yourself to express your appreciation. And, in order to be able to do this, you have to also be able to tune into and orient to all of the positive aspects of your life. 

What prevents people like me (actually all of humanity) from being open and positive is something called the negativity bias. Our brains are wired to respond more intensely to negative stimuli than positive ones.

This goes back to prehistoric times when the physical threats to our existence were real and persistent. In order to survive we needed to be aware of our surroundings, on guard for ferocious animals or wary of which foods were safe to eat. It was a matter of survival.

And some of us are more predisposed to being negative genetically and/or through life experiences. Unfortunately some people experience trauma that they carry with them. Trauma can serve to overwhelm your capacity to cope and cause you to perceive apparent threats more acutely than they present in reality. Trauma causes your amygdala, the part of your brain which processes dangerous threats, to grow larger physically  thus reinforcing the overvaluation of threats.

According to Tracey, mindfulness can help to regulate these feelings and reactions to perceived threats and overcome the negativity bias. You can train yourself to be more balanced.

But balancing the positive and negative isn’t as straightforward as a 1:1 ratio. Studies of long lasting relationships (ie. successful marriages) show that the balance between positive and negative events/feelings is actually 5:1 in order to counter our ever present negativity bias.

The good news is that these positive events/feelings don’t have to be large or complicated. They can be subtle and small. And this ratio also applies to our non-marriage relationships, dealings and functions.

…But still the thought of putting that much more effort to be positive can seem daunting. And that, according to Tracey, is where gratitude comes in. “So if you want to tip the scale towards happiness, practicing gratitude -all it means is bringing your attention to the good things that you would normally take for granted.”

And attention is the crucial first step toward gratitude. We tend to live our lives on autopilot, not really noticing what is happening. Not really seeing, for example, what our partners are doing that helps us. Mindfulness asks us to be present and actively notice what is happening in the moment. And once you notice those things to actually express your gratitude for them. 

What happens when we express our gratitude? According to the research Tracey reviewed, being positive gives us more energy as it deflects from inertia and allows us to be more disciplined. Gratitude increases will and determination. And so it fosters pro-social and health- related behaviours ie. “I’m grateful for my strength and ability to move…so I’m going to work out.”

Those who express gratitude experience less anxiety, depression and pain and more happiness and joy and better relationships. And, those who are grateful also get a better night’s sleep. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t need that?

While gratitude won’t stop bad things from happening to us, it will help with our resilience, help us cope with loss and be thankful for the support we get from others.

How do we practice gratitude? Tracey recommends writing down five things that you’re grateful for every day and then, in your relationships, make it a practice to turn to those you care about, look in their eyes and tell them three specific things that you’re grateful for in them every night before bed.

…BTW, I’m grateful that you took the time to read this article.