In the ebbs and flows of producing a bi-monthly magazine and weekly talk show/podcast, there are busier times and slower times. Fall is always a hectic time for me; industry trade shows, fiscal year ends, new product development and the sales cycle are added to my usual schedule. I came home one Wednesday in September after recording my show and decided to unwind on our outdoor patio.
I lay on the chaise lounge looking up into the impossibly blue sky. A jet was travelling across my field of vision creating the type of perfectly straight line that only occurs when the upper atmosphere is calm. I swear I could see the exhaust literally billow and flow from the plane. The leaves on the trees, still clinging to the branches, were just starting to show their true colours. All I could think about was how this time of year was always my favourite. Still warm, but a clarity in the air. Going out for drinks on patios with friends. Planning meals that feature the local bounty.
My oldest and best friend called me and I felt compelled to describe to him what I was experiencing. “What is this?” he asked. A fellow publisher, we speak daily and he is more than used to my usual glass-half-empty carping. As I am his. When we’re particularly overwhelmed, the complaining can be intense. He coined the phrase “being weepy” and it’s understood between us as licence to be as negative and dark as we feel. I am so artful at complaining, it might be my superpower. In that moment he found my serene positivity shocking and unexpected.
So, why did I feel compelled to voice my positivity? I explained that it was my sense of equity. He’d heard me kvetch so many times over the years it was only fair that he heard me be positive. If only so that he knew I could do it. I told him not to worry, I wouldn’t be making a habit of it.
A week later I was speaking with another friend (who’s also familiar with my m.o.) and described the blue sky experience for her. “You should write that exactly for the magazine” she told me. Sure. But how? Why? It took me a moment, but then I realized that my expression of satisfaction and appreciation was a form of mindfulness. A pure example of being present, in the moment (albeit tinged with the narcissism of sharing it with others). And it made me think of other moments. When my dog licks my hand as I clean her paws after our morning walk. That first bite of the delicious food I’ve made. When we linger at the family dinner table on Friday nights. Finishing the hardest (Saturday) Sudoku and crossword puzzles in pen. What is the opposite of “weepy”?
Perhaps this issue of the magazine will bring you satisfaction and appreciation. Whether it is the discussion about procrastination, or the connection between sleep and exercise or the possibility and future of therapeutic psychedelics. As always, if you’d like to discuss this note or anything you’ve read in this issue, feel free to reach out to me. …even if what you have to say might make me weepy.