Mindfulness Strategies to Build Real Self-Esteem

By: Jamie Bussin

In Episode #71 of The Tonic Talk Show/Podcast, I spoke with psychotherapist, and yoga therapist Tracey Soghrati about how mindfulness can improve self-confidence, reshape our mindsets, and promote better mental health. This is a digest of that conversation.

According to Tracey, mindfulness isn’t just about staying calm or present—it’s a tool for building self-awareness, particularly when it comes to how we see ourselves and our abilities. “Mindfulness is paying attention with curiosity to the present moment—without judgment,” she explains. We don’t build a whole story around what we experience, we simply note what we are experiencing. This awareness helps us identify harmful patterns of thinking that often erode confidence, such as fixed mindsets.

A fixed mindset is the belief that skills and abilities are set in stone. In contrast, a growth mindset assumes we can improve with time, effort, and support. Take something as simple as learning a new sport at midlife. A person with a fixed mindset might not even try because they believe they’re unathletic. Whereas the person with the growth mindset might try the sport and take lessons in order to improve their performance (and presumably their enjoyment).

Simply being aware of our mindset allows us the opportunity to change it. 

“We can hold a growth mindset in some areas of life, but a fixed one in others,” she notes. The key is to become aware of these areas and restructure our thoughts with intention and planning. Then you can create a structure and feed into your plan for success. Again, using the analogy of learning a new sport, taking lessons, getting the right equipment, and committing to spending time are examples of acting on that new structure.

Having a growth mindset doesn’t mean that you will necessarily succeed in everything that you try to do. Rather, a growth mindset allows you to improve at everything you try to do.

In addition to awareness of mindset there is also awareness of cognitive distortions—mental habits that give us a skewed view of reality. These include:

Catastrophizing: imagining the worst possible outcome and believing it is inevitable.  Catastrophizing can be stressful and paralyzing. For example, you might think that your partner is cheating on you or leaving you because they don’t answer their phone. That belief might cause you to be paranoid or overbearing in your relationship.

Overgeneralizing: turning one bad experience into a blanket belief – extrapolating without context. In doing so we might develop a negative core image. Using the example of a romantic partner, we might unconsciously pick out all of their negative attributes and exaggerate them in our mind. Then, when in conflict we are engaging that negative core image of our partner, rather than our actual partner.

Filtering: focusing only on the negative in any situation. You go on a vacation where many good things happen; great meals, fun excursions, but you can only focus on the terrible late flight.

Recognizing these patterns through mindfulness allows us to challenge them, replacing fear or self-doubt with constructive thinking.

Finally, Tracey emphasizes the need for self-compassion. “No matter how hard you’re working on yourself, there will be times you fall short,” she says. “Having compassion for yourself in those moments is crucial—not just for your own well-being, but for how you relate to others.”

Her message is clear: by observing our thoughts with care and curiosity, we can shift the way we view ourselves—and unlock the confidence to grow.